She’s Talking Crap Again!

How much rudeness can be packed into one apartment?  Some day, hopefully soon, I’ll look back and miss my time here.

Residing in Apt #666 downstairs in The Village of the Damned, is Mr Marlboro Man, his little Missus, a young teen boy and a tiny yipping canine. Y’all have heard me talk about Mr Marlboro Man before and I’m about to again. Continue reading

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The Old Dog

There is a middle-aged lady in a nearby apartment who has a very dignified black Lab. The woman always starts & ends each day by taking the dog on a long walk around the perimeter of the apartment complex. This lady and her dog move as one, calmly & methodically on their daily routine & are a pleasure to watch.

She takes such tender care of that dog & seems to try to take it everywhere with her. If she does need to be gone for any length of time, she comes home every few hours to take the dog out.

I hope she & the dog have a lot of years left together but I fear not. The Lab is getting up there in years what with its sweet face with lots of white on its muzzle. They certainly look like they’ve enjoyed many good years already.

Poo

Today we’re going to talk about poo.

I see a lot of dogs being taken out to do their business. Dogs are funny & have kind of an amusing ritual. They sniff and sniff andsniffsniffsniffsniiiiff, and walk back and forth and zig and zag into tighter and tighter circles until YES! THIS, is the spot! Then they look rather guilty as they assume the position and do their business. Once they finish, they do that thing where they kick up the grass like a stud then run off all happy. All of this in a minute or less.

It’s a good thing humans aren’t like that. Nope, when humans go to do their business they just head for the loo…dragging along magazines, newspapers, computer devices and if they’re lucky, there is a TV in there. All of this in an hour or two or less.

Yup, it’s a good thing humans aren’t as odd with their little ritual.

A Free Meal

Hello fellow tenant —

You’re out walking your dog & it’s not on a leash. You’ve stopped to pick up your mail at the mail center & are now thumbing through your mail. Your dog is 25 yards away from you & clearly eating something black off the parking lot. You see this but go back to idly looking at your mail. You occasionally look up & see your dog is still eating. Dog finishes his snack & returns to your side.

Wouldn’t you be curious what it was the animal had been eating? Wouldn’t you be concerned?

Perhaps you’ll see what it is later when poochums recycles it all over your living room carpet.

Nobody’s Looking, Right?

Dear Fellow Tenant in the Village of Damned:

When you walk your dog & it has finished doing its business….As you scan the area around you to see if anyone is watching, determine not, then walk away leaving the pile of poo.

You really need to look up to see if there are any open windows. You, and you and you there would see, you are SO busted.